yoo-min's bday at goowol on 6 dec 08

this is for
every birthday never spent
every candle never shown

this is for
every present never given
ever party not invited to

this is for being sent away
for
all the photos that my albums do not hold

this is for the life i could have
should have
lived

this is for
32
33
an invisible year lost
now reclaimed

this is for
every mamma who dared
every child still crying
"i want my mommy
no my REAL mommy"

this is for
every friend i never made
every lover never met

this is for
"you think you know so much
think you can read between my lines
you dont even know the half of it"

this is for
every ahjima whose lying
to protect her hidden secret
every father who does not know
does not care
drunk on soju with a wife tapping on the kitchen clock

this is for
do i stay
or
do i go
either way
there'll be trouble

this is for
every cake i never saw
every clap never heard
every k-pop song i cant recall

this is for
every racial that is trans
every man woman whose still torn up inside

this is for
loss loss loss
re-gain
re-gain
re
gain

this is for 15 bottles of beer on the wall
that we kicked down one autumn night
outside aldershot

this is for the conversation that i may never get to have
the words i need to speak
this is for telling
someone
who at least is somehow more a part of her
than anyone else ive ever known

this is for
every birthday party
i never celebrated
in the place that i was

born