some days

some days
i dont wanna stand in line
i just wanna eat eel

some days
i dont wanna drink the "oh my god its so cheap here" soju
i just wanna know the answer

some days
i dont wanna be a pacifist
id rather break their windows where they advertise us for sale

some days i dont wanna find the peaceful way
i just want to let my anger flow

some days
standing in a line
i wanna crumple to the floor
(my hands here feel the loss of hers)

some days
all i want is to drink soju
eat pork and kimchi
and fill my brain with useless chatter
on an arm pressed into mine
after one too many shots of
tequila
and a dare

some days
i wanna know the next day
cant wait here in the present
just want the mirror to tell me
everything im not seeing

some days
i wanna hug the baristas
the fish mongers
the dukbokki vendors
the ahjimas
the men in bad suits who snort loudly
the small children who make me feel my heart
the shoppers
the sellers
the window dressers
the girls who put make up on whenever they have the chance
the women who gather underground
the cart pushers
the mobile phone kiosk workers
and tell them
"i never meant to leave you"

some days
i wanna be returned
to her
want holt to stop hording all our information like its somehow theirs
- thats not just some days - thats every day

some days
i wanna watch movies
go see shows
walk the streets
eat after eating
drink after drinking
love after loving

some days
i want my native language to return to me
without all this effort
i wanna remember everything embedded into my body

but no matter what the day

just being here

is the sum of

all days