ends as it begins

and it ends as it began
and it begins as there is no end
not now
not yet

i go from love
to love
i go

what i came here looking for
i found beneath the moon
"that which was lost"
now
now
... is found

glory be to something high
glory be to something large
glory be to something small
glory be to trinity's in pairs

... i go from love
to love

i go from home
to home

i go

what i came here looking for
was behind two doors
- never shall hope for finding cease
in september i still will knock
in september i still will seek

but today
i go
to return
to another life
- a flat without pets
- a car with leather seats and sunroof named "juma weeps"
- a neighborhood that ive dubbed gayborhood
- to friends
i return
to
friends

to tell them stories
of how even the bad has been good
of how even the loss has been a painful kind of gain

but mainly
just to tell them stories
without saying anything

"kim!"
they'll shout
"you fucker!"

and i will smile
smile at them
call them
- by their names
- hey quasian!
hey lp!
ahhh unkle!
... blowpop... dude...
PUUUfuuu
gayborrrrr!!!
seoullll... little one what it do yo?
tricia ricicia bicia smicia icia delicia!
EVE!!!
josina
arrriellllll
vic!

- oh youre the ones i love
how did i the orphan child get so lucky? was frank o'hara writing poems for me?
how did i the one born to nothing end up with so much everything?

theres 12 of us tight
13 if you count me
... who said it was some unlucky number
... its the most blessed one
we're like jesus and his 12 - only each of us is deified

... yeah my gayborhood
yeah yeah my loves
and still theres more... the list
the list
how did the hiding one
end up with such a list?

... and then theres here
all that remains to be discovered

i go from love
to return to love
to love
i go
from love
i
go

aeigo!

... and you i came looking for you
and there you were
in a leather jacket
your lines i have memorized
... and i came looking for you
and there you were
calling me by name


and you i wasnt even looking but oh how you have appeared each one of you - some of you as friends... some of you as friends to be... some of you as fun time lovers... some of you as ones to down the drinks with... some of you as laughter... some of you as hazy in morning light... some of you as ... fashionista compadres... some of you as... distractions for a late january early february ache... some of you as... everything bright and beautiful... and some of you... though i would not wish it... lost gone away with the falsity of allegations... but even then... even then... you remain... something more than nothing...

and one of you as my forevers till death us do part and even then we will be together even then ... for love... ... for love... for love will not be torn asunder even by corrupt traffickers of children
and another of you ... i do not know only that i have known since first meeting that you were one to always look to find... like a magnet to links of alpine forged metal....

these circles
completing and beginning

this is not the end
it never was
this has always ever only been
the next part of beginning

and ... so i go

from love
to love

i go..

aeigo
go i...

a she who sins
a 시인

go we i
together

april and september are full of love goodbyes hellos and glory

this is how the night it turns to day